Wednesday, December 31, 2008

BAH HUMBUG


For the past few weeks, Dave and I have been discussing where to spend Christmas. Should we go to San Diego and spend Christmas with his sister? Please, NO! I get along with everyone in the world except Dave's sister. I don't know if it's me, or if it's her. We clash. I'm Alice and she's the Queen of Hearts. I'll present her with a bouquet of white roses and it's off with my head. Not fun! :)~ Then again, maybe it would be nice to go to Los Angeles and spend Christmas with my brother and his family -- they spend half of the year in LA and the other half in Brazil. We haven't seen them in a while and they are a joy to be around, but Dave doesn't feel it's right to travel to LA to visit my family, while driving through San Diego and not stopping by to see his sister. We can do a drive by, open the window, and toss a few whites roses into Susie's bed of red roses. ::looking into the rear view mirror:: Ooops, oh joy, she can't run fast, her talons are too long! Am I the mean Queen? :)~ I suppose we can spend the day with Jeff -- newly ex-brother-in-law --and his daughter Shana Sue, like I've been doing for the past 27 years! "Where's your sister?" asks the readers? Dave suggested we just stay home -- at my house. After much debate, we decided on the latter. A week before Christmas, ShanaSue phoned asking, "What are WE doing for Christmas? We MUST spend Christmas at my Dad's house because this will be our last Christmas at home. The house is on the market and when the economy picks up our house will be the first to be sold!" I told her, "I'm willing to prepare Christmas dinner here, and I'll bring it over to your Dad's. Run it by him and let me know." Days go by. I finally phone ShanaSue. She answers her cell, she's working in the ER, and luckily, she's on break. We chat for a few SECONDS, when she says, "I must go to the rest room!" Fifteen minutes later she calls,"I'm between patients, let me call you back." I tell her, "Dave and I are going to Fry's, so if you phone within the next hour, I won't be here. ShanaSue said, "I get off at 9, I'll call you when I get home." She didn't call, and NEVER mentioned Christmas. Dave and I made plans for OUR Christmas -- our first Christmas ALONE. Color Dave very happy. The walking on air while whistling a happy tune "kind of happy." The only problem with happiness is...it's fleeting.





At 2:17, on Christmas Eve day, the phone rings. It ShanaSue, "You and Dave will be here at noon, right?" WHAT?*^%$? A battle ensues, lasting a good 15 minutes. She insisted she told me that we're spending Christmas together-- she didn't. :) We reached a compromise. I will prepare the dinner and she'll be responsible for the desserts, beverages and the floral arrangement for the dinner table. The conversation ended with, "Oh, by the way, Aunt Deb, there will be 11 of us, not counting my Dad, you and Dave, for dinner. Make sure you bring plenty of food and don't forget the h'dourves! You DID go to the Honey Baked Ham Store, right?" I honestly believed ShanaSue's "Princess" days, okay her beyond spoiled brat days, were over. :( Long pause. ::thinking:: Yes, as a matter of fact I did shop there the day before. I purchased two half hams. I gave one to Yaya, my best friend who won the Arizona State lottery for $13.5 million last March but acts like she's as poor as a church mouse...a country church mouse... .Yaya welcomed hungry, unexpected guests, into her home from Mexico, and didn't feel like standing in line at the Honey Baked Ham Store. I gave her the ham. Okay, she had to pry it from my arm. Why am I the one who gives and gives but feels like Scrooge? I admit, I begrudgingly gave Yaya the ham. BAH-HUMBUG! One thing I've learned about people who have millions and millions of dollars -- they don't think they need to pay for anything. I paid $60.00 for that ham and Yaya walked out the door with her nose in the air. I was hoping she'd run into the javelinas' on the way out to her car. They'd wrestle her to the ground for that ham and I'd be on the balcony cheering them on -- my tiara intact. I'm too kind. Really, I am! I'm a welcome mat. :( My New Year's resolution will be, to take care of Dave and I first. To do what WE want to do.








Enter meltdown phase! I had one and a half hours to get to the Honey Baked Ham Store, Fry's and the "mall" to purchase MORE gifts for the added guests. BAH-HUMBUG! I, along with "other shoppers" have lost the true meaning of Christmas! What are we doing out on Christmas Eve? I'm thankful the stores weren't bursting at the seams with shoppers and bad attitudes. I purchased 2 whole hams and a slew of sides at The Honey Baked Ham Store. 2 turkeys and all the trimmings at Fry's. A few games, for the girls, at the mall. I figured, Dave and I would give "the other guests" loaves of pumpkin bread and a box of assorted Christmas cookies, with a few "menorah and dreidel" cutouts, iced in baby blue and white, included. I got up at 4 and became a slave to my stove for the next 7 hours. While things bubbled, I couldn't help but think about the movie "Hocus Pocus." I wish I had a huge black cauldron, suspended over the flame of the hearth, and ALL my bad thoughts were boiling away. It's Christmas Day and this day is supposed to be about a Baby, NOT about a zillion and one unimportant things. Things no one will remember a week from now. It's time I handed "the drumstick" over to ShanaSue -- whether she can't cook or never wants to learn; that's HER problem. One thing I'm taking away from ShanaSue, is "my" broom. I still need it; to bop over the heads of the "ingrates" in my life. Maybe it's time to "clean house!" Sweep these people out of my life for good. Yes, right after, I baste the turkey, glaze the ham and strategically place the marshmallows on the yam casserole.








Dave and I arrive at noon. ShanaSue invited three doctors to have dinner with us. Two are residents, in their early thirties and handsome -- oh, to sigh-for handsome. They're away from their families -- one from Australia, the other hails from New York. The other physician, is newly divorced. He had the day off and brought along his two daughters because his ex-wife, who's also a doctor, is working in the ER this Christmas Day. :( 2 nurses and 1 tech. Ronnie, ShanaSue's best friend, and his roommate.







First sentence, out of ShanaSue's mouth, in her 7 year old whining voice, " I didn't know grocery stores were closed on Christmas Day! I had to stop at 7-11 for the things I was supposed to bring for dinner -- minus the table decoration." I'm thinking " Don't bother, ShanaSue! We'll just put your pretty head on a tray, decorate it with tinsel and "Voile" -- we have a "Dollar Store" mark down, gracing the table this year!" I am seeing red, without the green. If I could shop at 4 stores on Christmas Eve, when I should be at home with Dave, ShanaSue COULD have forgone ONE of her Christmas parties and kept her end of the bargain. How much time could it have taken to stop by the bakery, liquor store and florist? An hour at most. I will never do this again. Never.



ShanaSue brought 4 packages of Hostess doughnut and a 2-liter bottle of Wild Cherry Pepsi. I was tempted to ram the doughnuts down her throat and bop her over the head with the Pepsi, but I remembered, "I'm a lady." :)~







Merry Christmas to all, and to ShanaSue, "You're in for a "FRIGHT!"

3 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday Deb!!! My birthday was the 1st...so we have another thing in common!!!

    Thanks for stopping by earlier and leaving your sweet comments...I will cross my fingers that you win the giveaway in honor of your birthday;)!!!

    Have a wonderful day!!!
    XOXO
    Cathy

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  2. You are so funny! You need to update your blog and write some more!!! I don't know why I was reading your post with an English accent but I was...are you from England because that would be really weird because I would have no reason at all to know that. Maybe it's because of the Beatrix Potter comment you left me!

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  3. thank you for your sweet comments i agree with the post above you should blog more!
    and WOW to this post people are just plain assholes(excuse my french) till i get married and have my own christmas parties at my house i choose to forgo christmas this year im renting a nice hotel room and spending it by myself in peace and quiet lol

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